Whew! Today had me big time itching to get out and do an outdoor session. I can't wait to get out of this winter rut and start feeling good again. I hate being cooped up in the house and having no energy. The sunshine and warmth gets me excited about life again, which in today's case had me reflecting and setting goals for my business.
I know i'm starting to sound like a broken record but last year far exceeded my expectations and for that I'm so thankful to everyone that believed in me and supported me. But now I sit here setting goals for the future and dreaming of where I'd like to be by the end of 2015. However, I keep finding myself feeling stuck because there is a part of me, a small part, that still doubts myself and feels like I've completely gotten in over my head. Then the other part of me has these super high goals and is running to the next challenge. The point is that all of this has me thinking about what exactly it is that's holding me back. The answer, very clearly, is ME!!!
So how is it exactly that I am holding myself back? The number ONE and biggest reason is due to comparison. Over the course of past couple of years, I have followed about ten different photographers and their work very closely. Not because I wanted to copy their art but because I wanted to find inspiration. I researched everything I could find online as far as technique and did some mentoring online but most importantly I went out and I practiced. I used my poor kids as models and failed... A LOT but throughout it all I was discovering who I was and what Lindsay Sage Photography was. I started coming home from these sessions after developing a relationship with these families and I would literally find myself editing these photos with butterflies in my stomach and sometimes even tears in my eyes. This is when I knew that I was on the right path. More than that though, I wasn't "copying" anyone else, I was doing my own thing. Of course I had learned what worked for others and incorporated that into my workflow but this was still mine.
So what is the problem then, you ask? Well, the problem is that here I sit still comparing myself and quite frankly it's getting me no where. I think its wonderful and very beneficial to still be looking around and challenging yourself to be better but there has to be a line drawn. The line that you have to draw yourself that says "this is me, this is what I do" and on the other side it says "that is them, that is what they do" but it is a fine line and every once in a while i find myself feeling inferior and comparing my work to theirs. I also find myself feeling defeated because I don't have a studio or the space to do indoor sessions, so therefore I can't offer what they are able to offer. That is how I stand in the way of myself. I allow myself to get discouraged by what others are doing instead of just being 100% grateful for all that I have accomplished and have yet to do. I can't forget that I am only a year into this and that I'm going to continue to learn and grow every day for many more years. I just need to get out of the way.
I very much believe in God's perfect timing and I know that his plan not just for me but for my business is way bigger and better than i could ever dream it to be. The people he has placed in my life at just the right time, the means he has provided to financially take on this business and the work that he has been doing in my heart have all played into this. I have developed such a passion for photography and working with families, especially children.. that is totally God working in me. I know for a fact that God has big plans for me and how he is going to use this photography business, ultimately for HIS GLORY!! I can't see the big picture right now but I can see now that by simply getting out of my own way, He is going to guide me and continue to bless me on this journey.
It's never ok to compare your apples to someone else's oranges, it really never gets us anywhere in life. It's so important to remember that God will give you exactly the resources that YOU need. I may not have a studio that gives me the capabilities to expand my business right now but that doesn't mean He won't provide that for me in the future, if that is even His plan for me. For now I need to use what He has blessed me with and continue moving forward, the rest will come.
Moral of the story... stop comparing yourself to others, be completely aware of the blessings you have and use those blessings to their full potential... all for a greater purpose!!
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